1. Pondilly
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2. Mallow Path
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3. Well Tree
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4. Uninvited |
5. Clockwork Girl
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6. Jenny Downhill
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7. Red Pillar Box
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8. Frightful Sprite |
9. Water Witch
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10. Kingdoms
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11. Incantations
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12. Pixiekins |
Stories & Illustrations by George McGinn © |
Story 1------------------------------
Pondilly Professor George Anthony McGinn was born in Mayfair London England in 1839. He was a renowned illustrator and writer of the 19th Century and sometimes output his creative work under a variety of nom de plumes including Hector Buddle, Uriah Goodfellow and Edwardo de Indigo. His most famous female pen name was Veronica Van de Burgh. George McGinn wrote extensively of a mysterious and faraway place which he called 'The Forgotten Woodlands of Pondilly'. The Woodlands, he said, were divided up into Fairydoms with each overseen by a nymph maiden who personified various aspects of nature. The Professor said there were many nymphs, but the one with whom he was most familiar was Belle Fleur of Forgotten Green. She was the guardian of plants, flowers, trees and all that grew from the earth.
Daydreaming According to the Professor, Pondilly (full name Pondillier and sometimes contracted to Pondle) is a real place you unknowingly drift into when daydreaming. It is neither here nor there but somewhere in between. It exists not before or after but alongside the present moment in time. Your visit is usually momentary before being quickly dissolved into a forgotten memory. Some awaken briefly within this wonderous place but are involuntarily winched back to the world from where they came. They are left with nothing but a residual imprint of what they perceive as a daydream. The Professor maintained that if you could learn to grasp the ephemeral moment in which you were caught when your head was in the clouds, you might be lucky enough to stay a little longer and perhaps even forever.
Humbug? Many of the Professor's contemporaries at the time were skeptical of his claims of another world pointing out that he was a professor of cultural studies with a strong interest in folkore and fairy tales. Some compared him to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle who was infamously fooled into believing in the existence of the Cottingley fairies. Others compared him to the ciarlatano or charlatans who fooled poor Sir Arthur.
Untimely Disappearance The Professor mysteriously disappeared in 1894 raising speculation that he had fled the grey and mind-numbing monotony of the real world for his beloved Pondilly. He was never to be seen again; that is, until now. After more than 100 years since his untimely disappearance, the Professor has returned to the modern world. How do I know this? I am Professor George McGinn. I decided it was time to come back and share with everyone my hand drawn illustrations and accounts of this wonderous place I have lived in for the last century. Perhaps, I can inspire and encourage others to visit the fairy tale that is Pondilly.
About G. A. McGinn I am a professor in cultural studies and literature with a specialist interest in old and new fairy tales of the folkloric genre in both preliterate and literate societies. My late wife was Lady Agness de Beaufort who was a highly respected writer and illustrator of short fairy tales. My second wife is Lady Philippa Carminow to whom I remain happily married. A life long devotee to antiquarian research into a cornucopia of never-ending fairy tales, I have held many prestigious posts including Librarian Royal to Her Majesty Queen Victoria in 1867 and Principal Curator at The British Museum Library in 1881. It was at this acclaimed museum where I personally oversaw a major campaign to save and preserve historical books in fairy-tale folklore and contemporary illustrated fairy tales for the nation and for future generations. During my various careers, I attracted the attention of great fictional writers of their time including Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, Arthur Conan Doyle, Rudyard Kipling and Bram Stoker as well as folkorists Joseph Jacob and Jeremiah Curtin among others. I was good friends with Lyman Frank Baum and the illustrator of his book 'The Wizard of Oz' William Wallace Denslow.
Wish Upon A Star All of these luminaries and others found a way to visit the ethereal world of Pondilly which they knew by different names. If you 'wish upon a star' like the ancient Greeks or 'click your heels together three times' as Dorothy did or believe like Roald Dahl that 'a little magic can take you a long way', you may (but not always) be lucky enough to be immediately transported to this world where magic is everywhere.
Old Illustration If you are interested, click on 'Old Illustration'. There you will find a selection of some of my favourite old fairy stories. I hope you enjoy them. But before you take a look at those timeless fairy tales, please read my account of a young boy from one of the fairydoms of Pondilly. He has an unusual obsession for his boots:
Edward de Moots Edward de Moots loved his purple boots He wore his boots in the park Edward really hated school Without the support of his boots, He decided to take action He ran outside during break He was spotted for his talent People came from miles around
Story 2------------------------------
In a far away land there was a vast mystical woods where the trees were tall and twisted with no leaves except, that is, at the centre where they were green and abundant with fruit, nuts and berries all year round. The woodland protected herself behind a giant wall of brambles which intertwined with the trees to make an inpenetrable dense thicket through which only the animals could navigate. Near by was a little village. The folk who lived there could not enter the woods because of the brambles, but they could tantalisingly smell the fruit whose sweet irrestistible aroma drifted on the winds and drove them to risk their lives to find a way in. Some had tried to hack through the brambles only to be entangled and shredded to death by sharp thorns. However, the villagers knew of a rare and unexplained phenomenon they called the Mallow Path. The path was composed of thousands of little flowers of the same species which spontaneously bloomed all at once unveiling a navigable route through the woodland and to the otherwise untouchable fruits. The path was not though without significant dangers. Milky mauve in colour, the Mallow Path was ephemeral and would never flower in the same place twice. Those brave enough to walk it had to be quick on their feet or risk being lost in the darkness of the overgrowth forever for the path could wither away at any time and be replaced by the twisted trees and jagged brambles which would close in once more. Most never returned, but a small number made it back with their arms full of the forbidden fruits. Sadly, these home-comers were all reduced to speaking gibberish and moved around in the strangest of ways. Some galloped on all fours and dug holes where they crouched whilst others hopped around or perched on window sills looking bemused. It seemed this odd behaviour was a forfeit the villagers thought worth paying just to sink their teeth into the delicious fruits brought back by these poor souls. A guard was posted in the bell tower at all times ready to alert the villagers of the appearance of the elusive Mallow Path. One day, the bell tolled. Everyone flocked to the edge of the woodland and waved off a hopeful contender whose name was Adam. Wasting no time, he sprinted down the soft path of petals into the darkness of the woods. Very soon, his path was blocked by a wild boar. Of course, animals do not speak, but Adam thought he heard the board say: 'If you wish to pass, you must give me your hat'. Fearful of the creature's huge tusks, Adam gave his hat to the boar who trotted off. Scratching his ears, the young man continued his sprint. Soon he met an aggressive crow flying around in his hair. Again, Adam could hear what he thought to be legible words coming from the feathered creature's beak: 'If you wish to pass, you must give me your shirt'. Mindful the path could disappear at any moment, he did not hesitate to hand over his shirt to the crow who flew off into the trees. With a twitch of his nose, Adam resumed his course. Further along, Adam's journey was interrupted by a grizzly brown bear. As one would expect, the bear growled, but in such a way that Adam believed he could the bear speaking to him: 'If you wish to pass, you must give me your shoes'. Adam reluctantly handed them over, but as soon as he did, he felt a lightness of being for his feet trod nimbly between the fallen thorns of the brambles. In the distance, he could clearly see the end of the Mallow Path leading to the fruit whose aroma was now completely overpowering. However, a giant frog jumped out in front of him. The frog croaked, but in such a way that Adam felt he understood what the frog was saying: 'If you wish to pass, you must give me your trousers'. Adam handed over his last piece of clothing to the frog who hopped off before plopping into a near by pond. Adam then lept up on to a tree with amazing agility and picked as many fruits as his little arms would carry. The fruits seemed unusually large and heavy. Sitting on a branch, Adam paused and surveyed the lush greenery of the woodland. He felt his ears rotate at the slightest sound and his nose twitch to a myriad of woodland scents carried on a breeze. He noticed all the creatures of the woods including the boar, the crow, the bear and the frog were staring at him. He peered into their eyes which seemed strangely human and then he looked down at the pond below. Staring back at himself, he saw his reflection which was not that of a young man, but of a squirrel. It dawned on him that the animals were those villagers who had never returned from their venture into the woods. They had been transformed into wild animals. He tried to say something, but could only produce a raspy squeak. He scuttled off along a branch and thought nothing of his metamorphosis for he was now a fully fledged squirrel doing whatever squirrels do.
Story 3------------------------------
There was once a jealous king who could not bear the idea of anyone looking at his beautiful daughter. He locked her up in the deepest chamber of his castle where there were no windows. The servants were forbidden to go near her and all her food was liquified and served by straw through the keyhole of her door to prevent any direct contact. The princess bided her time with needle work hand stitching magnificant tapestries of the great outdoors to hang on the walls and to compensate for the lack of windows in her chambers. One day, she noticed a beetle scuttling out from behind one of her wall tapestries. As she pulled back the corner of the fabric, she spotted a tiny crevice in the wall and felt a hint of fresh air funneling through. Using one of the biggest needles in her bejeweled sewing box, she scratched away the mortar to losen the bricks and eventually formed a small hole big enough for her to crawl through. But she soon realised that she had merely conveyed herself from one prison to another as she was now at the bottom of a very deep and dry well. It was not in the princess' nature to be down heartened as she was grateful for the fact that she could for the first time see the sky which appeared no bigger than the size of a penny coin at the entrance of the well high above. Over the months, she would escape to the well to view the sun which occasionally passed over. One day, as the princess was sipping broth in the dim daylight , she felt a piece of grit catch between her teeth. Slightly irritated, she spat it out on to the earthy floor of the well and shouted 'Oh, I wish I could escape!' before returning to her chambers to sleep. That night, the moisture on the rotund walls of the well glistened brightly as a full moon briefly passed over. The moon's luminosity faded as clouds drifted in and snow flakes sprinkled down. Unbeknown to the Princess, the well was enchanted and what she thought was a piece of grit was in fact a seed which had magically grown into a tree. When she awoke the next morning, she saw something pushing from behind the tapestry which covered the entrance to the well next door. Lifting back the fabric, a branch of a fur tree sprung out of the hole in the wall. Squeezing through to the well, she saw conifur tree had grown during the night. So high was the well entrance above that even the tree fell short of the height and so she was unable to consider climbing up the branches to escape her prison. Having been locked up in her chambers for many a year, the princess had not seen a tree for such a long time. It was lovely for her to feel the texture of the bark, the needles and particularly the cones which were very tactile. As the tree was big enough for her to climb into, she found a little nook into which she curled up. Inhaling the sweet aroma eminating from the tree, she drifted off into a deep sleep. Sometime later, she awoke to the feel of speckled sunlight on her skin. Slowly she opened her eyes and could see rays of light peircing through the dense needles from all around. She tasted the air which was fresh and breezy and nothing like the stale and damp atmosphere of her chambers. Then in the corner of her eye, she spotted a bird hopping on one of the higher branches and soon after a squirrel darting by. She also noticed the tree was considerabley bigger than when she fell asleep. The trunk was heavier, the branches were thicker and the space between allowed her to stand upright. She clambered out of her nook towards the edges of the tree. As the branches thinned out, she separated them like curtains to be greeted by the great outdoors. She looked down and could see that whilst she had been alseep, the tree had grown rapidly until it had reached the top of the well. It was early morning and no one was about. The princess knew she could not stay or she would be apprehended by her father's guards and re-incarcerate in the bowls of his castle. She looked out yonder at the great rolling hills of green pasture and saw a village in the far distance. 'That is where I shall go' said the Princess and off she went.
Story 4------------------------------
It was a cold winter's night when Belle prepared for bed. She finished up her supper and walked to the window to draw the curtains when she noticed it had started snowing outside. She stared in wonder as the delicate fluffy flakes floated silently down turning the ground into a shimmering blanket of white. She was eager to go out, but it was bitterly cold and she needed a good night's sleep. She hoped the snow would not melt during the night so that she could build a snowman in the morning. So tired was Belle that when her head touched the pillow, she quickly fell into a deep sleep. A few hours later, she was awoken by an unfamiliar noise coming from the nook above. Belle was aware that the nook was empty after a family of birds had recently moved out. She nipped outside to investigate. It was perishingly cold and she saw the big lolloping feet of a little troll poking out of the nook. Belle's heart sank as she realised big feet meant heavy stomping. Holding back her displeasure, she said to the troll: 'Are you sure the nook is suitable for a strapping troll like yourself?' Squeezing himself out and crashing to the ground, he replied: 'It's too poky in 'ere for me. I'm off.' With his big feet, he ploughed through the snow into the mist. Belle was relieved as woodland rules forbade her from preventing any woodland creature from taking up residence in an empty home. Fleur was about to drift back into sleep when she was again awoken by another unfamilier sound. She got out of bed and went outside which was colder than before. Through the blizzard of snow, she saw a tall skinny goblin scuttling up the trunk to the nook. It was common knowledge that all goblins were anti-social creatures particularly at night when they got up to mischief. They could soon turn a quiet friendly tree into an undesirable home which would attract other undesirables. Belle knew she had to act quickly. She diplomatically said to the creature: 'Are you sure the nook is suitable for a towering goblin like yourself?'. The goblin poked his head out of the nook and hurled a torrid of abuse at the nymph: 'What kind of a place is this? The ceiling is far too low!' Belle sighed with relief as the lanky goblin disappeared into the snowy mist. Returning to her bed, an exhausted Belle slipped back into a tentative sleep when she was startled by a great thud of a noise outside. 'Who is it now?' Belle asked herself. She climbed out of bed and went to investigate. She was aghast at the sight of a scruffy ghoul mindlessly banging on the side of the tree. Belle pinched her nose to escape its foul smelling stench which was known to be powerful enough to kill a small animal and render unconscious a tree nymph such as herself. Not even the nooks and crannies ventilating the tree would be enough to neautralise a ghoul's unsavioury body odour. Mindful of the woodland rules, Belle said to the ghoul: 'There's very little food in this part of the woods during winter. Most of the animals go to the far side of the Forgotten Woods'. Of course, Belle was not telling truth, because she would never endanger the lives of other creatures elsewhere. She had guided him towards the caves where at least the ghoul could spend the night out of the cold snow. The ghoul took no notice and licked its lips as it eyed up the nymph as a tasty morsal. Belle was not one to use her magic powers gratuitously, but when needs must, she had no complusion to take action. Raising her hand, she mustered up a strong gust of wind which threw the ghoul out of the forest in the blink of an eye. As she shook the snow flakes out of her hair and once again turned her thoughts to sleep, she saw in the corner of her eye a small squirrel traipsing through the deep snow like a wondering nomad. She soon realised he was heading for the tree. What a relief, she thought to herself. Perhaps now I will get some sleep. Her relief was shortlived as a pair of wooden clogs on his feet came into focus. Belle knew that she could not keep turning away the woodland creatures who had a sacred right to take up abode in an empty home. Downheartened, she decided not to intervene and went back to bed. Expecting the clipperty clop of clogs to keep her awake, she lay there with her eyes wide open. But the scuffling of hard heavy clogs was not to be heard. The minutes past and the silence continued. She decided to venture back outside and saw that the squirrel had left his clogs at the foot of the tree. 'How considerate' Belle said to herself. She smiled and thought of all the wondeful times she would have with her newest neighbour.
Story 5------------------------------
There was a tin lady With the jerk of one hand Inside the tower Oh the monotony She had had enough But a secret she hid She held captive a boy She yearned to free him She shuffled back in From high up above "Was that the wind?" But the eyes of the crowd The little tin lady
Story 6------------------------------
What a beautiful day thought Mrs Downhill as she filled up her watering can from the pond outside her cottage and sprinkled her poppy blooms. She thought fondly of a friend whose garden was similarly abundant in flowers. Then in the corner of her eye, Mrs Downhill spotted Belle Fleur emerging from the tree opposite. 'Hello!' said Belle. 'Are you leaving?’ What a strange question thought Mrs Downhill who had no plans on moving. She loved all her lovely friends here in The Forgotten Woodlands of Pondilly. Before she had a chance to respond, she saw that Belle had already dashed back inside to attend to a whistling kettle on the stove. Mrs Downhill returned to her gardening for the rest of the day for it was spring time and much work was needed. As the sun disappeared over the horizon, the first stars of the night began to twinkle in the twilight sky. Exhausted from toiling in the garden all day, she retreated inside to make a cup of hot root tea and put her feet up by the fire. With a chill setting in, she was about to close the windows, but not before glimpsing Mr Plonquee riding speedily by on his penny farthing. ‘When are you going?’ called out Mr Plonquee who had already disappeared into the distance before Mrs Downhill could ask him what he had meant. She scratched her forehead in bewilderment. Mrs Downhill's thoughts soon turned to her friend whom she missed dearly. ‘I must go and see her soon’ she said as she prepared for bed. That night, She had the most peculiar dream in which she met up with her friend who was looking very sad. ‘You poor thing. What has happened?’ she asked. ‘There was a terrible accident out on the field where William was working’ replied her friend. At the very mention of the man’s name, Mrs Downhill felt herself being abruptly dragged out of the dream. She awoke with eyes wide open, but could remember nothing. The next morning, Mrs Downhill ventured out into her garden to water her plants before the sun got too hot when she was overcome with a sense of deja-vus. ‘I’ve been here before.’ she thought. She looked up in anticipation of Belle Fleur calling out ’Are you leaving?’ She even predicted that Belle would rush back inside to attend to a whistling kettle boiling away on the stove. However, this time, Mrs Downhill did not carry on with her gardening and instead gingerly walked over to Belle’s tree. Mrs Downhill knocked on her neighbour's door which mysteriously opened by itself to the sound of an eerie creak. She peered in, but the lights were out and a thick blanket of fog obscured her view. She felt a sense of otherness as she cautiously stepped inside. As the fog thinned out, she saw before her what seemed to be a catacomb of spiral stairways going in all directions. She did not know which way to turn, but was unable to turn back as the door through which she arrived had disappeared. A noise simmered from the spiral tunnel in front of Mrs Downhill. It reminded her of the waves gently lapping up against a shingled beach. A different sound emerged from the tunnel to her side - it was birds chattering in a tree whose leaves rustled in a gentle breeze. All around, the spirals produced a cacophony of pleasantness except for one where she saw a shadowy figure walking towards her. A familiar voice whispered in the distance ‘Hello Jenny. It’s me William’. ‘Is that you?' murmured Mrs Downhill responding to her first name. Without warning, she opened her eyes and screamed at the sight of the shadow which stood before her. She ran down one of the spirals which was heavy in fog. ‘No! No! No!’ she shouted with her hands over her ears. She knew not how long she had been running. Maybe minutes. Maybe hours, but her journey came to an abrupt end as she found herself back on the doorstep of Belle’s tree. Mrs Downhill decided to return to her beautiful home. Looking back over her shoulder, she said cautiously ’Maybe I’ll visit Belle tomorrow’.
Story 7------------------------------
A bright red pillar box On its snow capped top 'To post' warned the bird, Pushing the letter full in, Then the noise came to halt
Story 8------------------------------
There was a frightful sprite who held round-the-clock parties at his home in a shallow nook of The Oak Tree. The music on his gramophone was unbearably loud and his undesirable guests were raucous. After his parties, the sprite would go to bed without clearing up leaving his leftovers strewn accross the forest floor. At best, he would gather up some of the debris, but then dump it in a nearby brook. It would take weeks for the other woodland creatures to dredge the rivers and to purge the woodland of the sprite's trash only for the sprite to hold another disruptive and messy party. His anti-social behaviour angered the other creatures and particularly those who shared The Old Oak Tree. A bleary eyed squirrel who lived in a deep recess decided to write a complaint to the chairwoman of the High Council who lived on the ground floor of the tree. Sometime after, an Elf officer called upon the sprite and asked him to stop his parties. After his request fell on deaf ears the Elf cast a spell so that the gramophone played only soothing lullabies. The sprite soon fell asleep and so did all the other animals who shared the tree.
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The Letters of A Moaning Squirrel
Simon Squirrel A time before the next
Madam Belle Fleur Dear Madam Fleur I wish to bring to your attention the conduct of Mr Sprite whose nightly parties on the ground are keeping the residents of The Great Oak Tree awake all night. I am but a mere squirrel who cannot hear himself think above the appalling din of Mr Sprite's music system. His new fangled gadget called the gramophone is a great source of misery to me and my family who wish to live quietly in our nest on the top branch. These parties are a gross invasion of our privacy and the rubbish they generate is polluting our woods. I look forward to your response in the hope that you may find a solution. Yours Sincerely Simon Squirrel
---------- Madam Belle Fleur A time before the next
Mr Squirrel Dear Mr Sprite I wish to inform you that I will be exercising my right to station a High Court approved inscriber outside our tree. The inscriber will document any anti-social behaviour committed around the tree. I have felt forced to take such drastic action as a result of your ongoing ignominious conduct which is causing me great distress. You will of course recall that you urinated at the base of the tree causing an unpleasant odour which wafted through my kitchen window. My sponge cake was ruined. Furthermore, you continue to hold regular parties at which you play your music loudly and deposit rubbish in the surrounding area. The Council have also ordered that your name be placed on the register of offenders so that others are aware of your behaviour. I have done my best to reach out to you to find a way where we can share this oak tree in harmony, but you continue to show contempt. I hope to see an improvement in your behaviour. Yours Sincerely Madam Belle Fleur
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Mr Squirrel A time before the next
Madam Belle Fleur Dear Madam Fleur Your maintenance contractor Ratty Roofer turned up this morning unannounced to fix the leak above my nook. Why did you not inform me in advance especially after you told me that you would keep me fully up to date? Ratty came equipped with a handful of peat scooped out from a nearby bog which is wholly inadequate for a complicated repair on the outside of the tree exposed to the elements. At the very least, he should have used red clay from the bed of the ancient river just beyond the hill. The clay is impervious to all moisture. Furthermore, I am deeply unhappy with the delays in getting this leak resolved. I first reported it several moons ago and since then, we have had plenty of rainfall which has made its way into my nook. In your last letter, you said that you could not comment on what had happened before you recently took up the post of Chairman of the High Council. Why not? You could have consulted with your predecessor Hattie Beaver who lives in the dam by the Yew tree but a few steps away. You could have looked at the hand-over bundle she gave you on her departure. You could have communicated with me personally as I live just above your abode. Furthermore, you have only responded to two of my nine letters. I do expect prompt replies to all my communications. In any event, the repair carried out this morning was nothing but a complete bodge which was a waste of our precious funds to maintain the tree as it clearly failed to keep the water out whilst it was tipping it down this afternoon. I feel we are going round in never-ending circles. How do you propose to keep the nook in which I live watertight? I would like to add that the funds spent on this morning’s so-called repair are not recoverable from the Old Oak Tree treasure trove (9 acorns for my personal contribution). Nor is any repair work to put right the internal damage to my nook recoverable due to the length of time which has lapsed since I first reported the ingress. Your poor management of the Old Oak Tree has allowed what was a minor leak to progress out of hand due to months of unnecessary neglect to the fabric of the tree. You will have to pay for the cost out of your own purse. I look forward to your response. Yours Sincerely Simon Squirrel
Story 9------------------------------
There is a place Which is the distant breath So stay well clear Before she rushes to you At the edge of the cliff To herself She has no And swallowed up
Story 10------------------------------
Story a: The Moon King In a far flung corner of Pondilly was an isolated kingdom called Menusha Ip Plangdala. Its people were ruled by a monarch whose name was King Omnomthatica Ip Bwalimathatingle IX. Like all good kings, he wore a shiny crown and sat on a thrown. He also had a voracious apetite especially for blue cheese. His subjects loved their king for the funny stories he told and so they fed him day and night to encourage him to tell them more. Now, the king was not a bad person and nor were his subjects, but both parties were locked into an unhealthly relationship where one was unwittingly leading the other into oblivion. With his massive intake of food, the king grew fatter especially his head which overtime began to eclipse his body. Meanwhile, his subjects were withering away from malnutrition for there was very little food left over for them. Overtime, the king’s head grew too fat for his thrown which started to buckle under his weight. So his subjects built a sturdy brick column on which to present him. But as the king grew bigger, the column began to crumble. So they built a bigger one. Eventually, they had to build several columns each bigger, stronger and taller than the one before. So high up on the column, the king appeared like a heavenly body looking down at his subjects. One night, there was an almighty storm. The winds and the rains battered the kingdom. The next morning when the storm had died down, the king’s subjects tentatively went out on to the streets to see what had happened. They saw the vast column which had once reached high in to the starry night had toppled over. But looking up, they could not believe their eyes as they saw that the king was sitting on the moon which had passed over the column at the moment of its collapse. With just moments to spare, the king had managed to jump on to the moon for safety. ‘He is a god!’ exclaimed one of the king’s subjects. But how will we feed him?’ said another. Many years passed. No longer reliant on his people for food, the king told fewer stories. In turn, no longer burdened by their king’s constant need for blue cheese, the king's subjects now had time to go about their own business. They cooked for themselves and told each other their own stories. Eventually, they turned there eyes away from the sky and forgot about their king who slipped into mythical obsurity. The king's regal accoutrements including his crown eventually fell away leaving just his engorged blue face in suspended animation high up in the cold night sky. One evening, a child looked up into the sky and said to his parents ‘Who is that man in the moon?’ ‘Oh’ explained the father. ‘That’s old King Omnom Bwalimathatingle. Legend has it that the moon was made of cheese and that the king gobbled it all up‘. The boy’s father explained in jest ‘Perhaps, he became the moon’.
The Moral: be ambitious but be content
Story b: The Matchstick Crown Would that it could be made of gold wished the king as he fixed the very last matchstick to his model kingdom. It had taken him many months to construct. His courtiers took a deep breath as they feared the king's subjects could not afford yet another tax rise to pay for his majesty's extravagence. An old sorceress appeared by chance at the palace gates at the very moment the king made his wish. She announced that she could grant the king his most desirous wish in return for a forfeit. The king was excited and made his wish without a second thought for the consequences. Uttering a few enchanted words, the sorceress cast out her hand to create a sprawling cloud of glittering dust which descended on to the matchstick kingdom. The cloud slowly cleared and the king's face lit up in awe when a golden kingdom emerged. Sidling up close to the king, the sorceress asked 'And what about your end of the bargain, your majesty?' 'Pray tell, in return for such a wondrous thing of beauty, what must I, a king of these poor people, sacrifice?' he replied as he gave nothing but a cursory glance out of the window towards his impoverished kingdom before gazing at a heavily bejeweled ring on his finger. Looking around the king's sumptuously decorated palace, the sorceress observed wall to wall oil paintings, gold embroided tapestries and a feast of sparkling jewels as well as other priceless works of art, but she had her beady haggish eye on the king's ultimate treasure. 'The gold crown on your head!' demanded the sorceress as she withdrew to a safe distance. 'Old woman, you have now overstepped the mark!' shouted the king who went on to to exclaim 'My crown defines who I be!' At that point, the sorceress cast out her hand again to create a second cloud of dust which enveloped the king's head. The king coughed and sneezed but when the cloud had dispersed, he was aghast to see that his model kingdom was returned to matchsticks. He realised that the woman had tricked him by covering it with nothing but a thin layer of gold dust which he had blown away with his sneeze. The king ordered his guards to draw their swords and kill the sorceress, but she had already disappeared along with his most prized treasure. All that could be heard was an echo of her parting words 'You do not get something for nothing in this world'. 'What could she mean?' asked the king who had no idea that upon his head was nothing but a worthless matchstick crown.
The Moral: be careful what you wish for
Story 11------------------------------
There was once a little castle at the top of a hill where the courtiers and subjects spoke very loudly. So much so, they generated a cacophony which could be heard for miles around. At the bottom of the hill, there was a run down cottage in which there lived an old witch. She was tired of the never-ending racket emanating from the castle high above. 'I'm trying to have my afternoon nap!' screeched the bleary eyed witch as she pointlessly waved her broom stick in the air in the direction of the castle whose inhabitants were too far away to hear or care about the rants of the old woman. The witch had in the past cast many spells to stop the noise such as placing an impenetrable sound bubble around her cottage. Her spells though had one fatal flaw which was that they were only potent when she was wide awake. The moment she fell asleep, the spell was broken. However, at the end of her spellbook, the witch had at her disposal one very special incantation which lasted forever. It was known as 'The Last Incantation'. She had never cast the spell which came with a severe warning of a grave and unknown forfeit. Erring on the side of caution, she avoided the spell. In any event, the witch rarely used her regular magical powers which were now waning in her golden years. She just wanted a quiet life in her retirement. Determined to find another way to stop the noise without using up her limited quota of magic, she decided she would go on a long journey to meet in person with the King and Queen of the castle on the hill. She threw on her hooded cape and gathered her things including a raggedy bag in which she kept her spellbook. She also dragged along her scruffy broom stick which she gave up flying many years ago. The volume of the din from the castle above dramatically increased as the witch trudged higher up the hill. Why do they shout so loudly she thought? She could not even hear herself think. She pulled out of her bag two dead spiders and squeezed them into her wrinkly old ears to help muffle the sound. After many hours of travelling, she eventually arrived at the castle gate. 'Halt! Who goes there?' bellowed the gatekeeper. One would expect a man in such a position to shout, but this one shouted louder than usual in order to be heard above all the other subjects of the castle. 'I wish to speak to the King and Queen' said the witch. 'Speak up old lady!' yelled the gatekeeper. 'I can barely hear you!' Politely coughing into her hand, the witch repeated her request with a raised voice. The gatekeeper laughed and told the old woman to go back home. The witch said she would leave but asked if she could have a cup of water before her long journey back. Taking pity on the old woman whom he saw as no threat, the gatekeeper went away to fetch some water. Meanwhile, the witch climbed over the gate and disappeared into the castle grounds, but not before casting a small spell on her cape to appear as a ghostly impression of herself walking back down the hill. The unwitting gatekeeper returned with a pale of water in hand. Seeing what he thought was the old woman leaving, he thought nothing more and returned to his post. The witch meandered her way through the busy castle grounds. She pulled out of her bag a head scarf which she wrapped tightly around her ears to muffle the noise. She eventually arrived at a grand door above which was a royal crest. She assumed this must be where the King and Queen lived. She knocked, but no one answered. Gently pushing the door open, she cautiously walked in. At the very moment she stepped over the door threshold, the noise outside came to an abrupt end. She put one foot backwards and the noise resumed. After repeating this process several times, she realised that a curse had been placed on the royal chambers. The witch was in awe of the spacious room in which she stood. It was lavishly furnished to the highest standard with exotic treasures in every corner. Her eyes fell upon a young man standing by the fireplace. He was dressed in fine silken clothes and wore a crown on his head. 'Your Majesty' said the witch giving a curtsy as deep as her old knees would allow. Looking up, the King smiled with joy and whispered 'Guislaine, my lovely daughter! You've come home'. The witch assumed that the part of the room in which she stood was poorly lit and that consequently the King had mistaken her for someone else. Either that or she thought he must be partially blind. Then the witch's eyes fell upon a young woman whom she assumed was the Queen seated in a golden chair next to the King. The Queen stood up and with arms out stretched, she too whispered 'My darling Guislaine. We've missed you so much'. For a few moments, the witch was lost in thought as she realised that she vaguely recognised the name by which she was addressed. Who did I know by the name of Guislaine, thought the witch? The realisation gradually emerged from the darkest recesses of her mind. It then came to her in a flash: 'I am Guislaine'. She had not heard anyone call her by her birth name since childhood when her parents mysteriously disappeared and she was left alone to fend for herself in the cottage. 'But you are young' said the witch 'I am an old woman'. I could not possibly be your daughter'. 'I will explain' whispered the King. 'As an infant, you cried day and night. We tried everything to calm you from lullabies to sweet aromas'. As a last resort, the King continued, they summoned an old witch who lived in a run down cottage down the hill. 'Not you Guislaine' interjected the King. The King said they knew they were taking a huge risk, but that they had been driven to their wits end in the pursuit of peace and quiet. The witch granted them their wish for the silence they craved, but had not told them of the consquences until after the spell had been cast. The spell had robbed them of their voices which were now barely audible above a whisper. Another forfeit was that they were unable to leave their royal chambers which had become a prison and over the years, they noticed they never aged a day more than when the spell was cast. The King said that he and the Queen attempted to escape many times, but were able to go only a few yards beyond the threshold of their chamber doors. They were also confronted by a wall of ear-splitting noise as shouting had become the common parlance of the King's subjects under the spell. It appeared that the price for their child's silence was this cacophony. Their only choice was to retreat inside where they appeared to be magically shielded from the unbearable din outside. They soon discovered that Guislaine and a royal maid, who was present when the spell was cast, were immune from incarceration. Feeling it was unfair to keep their child locked up indefinitely, the King and Queen put Guislaine in the care of their maid whom they instructed to flee the castle for the forest beyond the hill. The King continued his sad account. 'We told the maid to bring you back if the spell were ever to be broken as we tearfully waived goodbye to you'. The maid placed two small waxed pine cones in Guislaine's ears for protection from the noise before she and the child made a quick dash through and out of the castle grounds. However, that was the last time the King and Queen ever saw their daughter or the maid. The King went on to reveal that at the time the maid and Guislaine fled, his brother the Prince happened by chance to be fishing on the great river near the witch's cottage which was beyond the influence of the devastating effects of the spell. When he returned to the castle, the Prince reported to the King that he had seen the maid fall into the river and then carried off by a strong current no doubt to certain death. The King sent his brother back to the forest to find Guislaine, but his brother sadly never made it past the castle gates. Disorientated by the noise of everyone shouting, his horse bucked and the Prince fell from his saddle instantly killing himself. Guislaine thought back to her childhood. She had a vague recollection that she was raised briefly by an old woman whom she thought must be the witch to whom her parents referred. What happened to her, thought Guislaine? Perhaps the old woman was not completely evil after all as she took Guislain into her home saving her from perishing in the forest at least until she was old enough to fend for herself. By now, Guislaine felt terrible for the King and Queen whom she began to accept as her parents. How awful that they had lost their child whom they would never see grow up. It must have been a shock for them to see her as an old woman whilst they remained young and youthful. She flicked through her spellbook for anything which could undo this terrible curse upon her parents, but there was nothing; except, that is, The Last Incantation. In that moment, it dawned on Guislaine that she had been raised as the witch's apprentice and that the spellbook she held in her hands was the very same one which brought misery on her parents. She pondered for a moment before slamming the book down on the floor and turning to the table of contents; but she found nothing. She then jumped to the back and scoured through the index. There buried in the small print was the remedy: 'The Greatest Spell of all that has been invoked can only be undone if the issue of those cursed chants the Spell in reverse'. She weighed up the risks. Her parents were deeply unhappy forever trapped in their royal chambers and literally unable to move forward with their lives. On the otherhand, she herself was an old woman with most of her life behind her. Without hesitation, she uttered the unhallowed words of The Last Incantation backwards - words which cannot be revealed to the good readers of this story for fear of the harm those words will cause. As she cautiously read through the incantation in reverse, mindful that the slightest mistake may cause the wrong outcome, Guislaine felt the room gradually spin around her until everything was a blur and then nothing. Bit by bit, the room came back into focus and all was still. The King opened the chamber windows and stepped back to the sound of loud cheers from the crowds which had gathered outside. Guislaine was concerned that the spell had not been lifted. With arms outstretched, she walked towards her parents and with each step, she saw the old saggy skin on her hands gradually rejuvinate and everything around her including her parents appear to grow in stature. She grabbed their hands which seemed unusually large until she caught a glimpse of herself in a side mirror which revealed she was a child again. With their young daughter by their side, the King and Queen walked out of their royal chambers for the first time in many a year to be greeted by even louder cheers. However, the cheering was not the cacophony brought about by the spell, but a natural cheer of a joyful crowd celebrating the end of the curse and the start of a new life with their beloved King and Queen who had been given a second chance to be a family once more. Many many years later when the King and Queen had died of old age, Guislaine ascended the thrown. She too had a long reign until she was once again an old woman. One day, she decided to return to her former home the cottage at the bottom of the hill. Was it still there she thought? Did it ever exist? She packed up her spellbook and slipped out of the castle grounds unseen in the darkness of night. After long hours of travelling, she arrived at her destination and was delighted to see her little cottage in front of her. It was not a dream afterall she thought to herself. Strangely, it looked exactly as it was the day she left all those years ago for she had expected time to have taken its toll. She opened the door and stepped inside. All was in its place. The lamp was shining bright and the logs on the fire were crackling. It was as if she had never been away.
Story 12------------------------------
Little Alfonso Pixiekins was a happy child although he was somewhat frightened by the hideous looking monsters which writhed around in the blackened waters of the Sea of Doom which his house overlooked from high up on top of the cliff. In spite of his fear, he enjoyed watching the monsters scramble for the leftover food which he threw over the cliff edge after mealtimes. His parents had warned him not to work the creatures up into a frenzy in case they crawled out of the water. However, Pixiekins was aware that whilst they were grizzly looking, the monsters had never once harmed his family. In any event, his parents had put in place adequate defence mechanisms to ensure these vile monsters could never get near the house. With the passing of many years, Pixiekins' parents began to slow down until eventually they withdrew to their bedroom upstairs. Their ageing bones could no longer carry them and so Pixiekins, who was still a young man, had to take care of all their needs. Fortunately, he had been taught from an early age to farm the surrounding lands so that the family could be self-sufficient. Pixiekins also had an aptitude for cooking the foods he grew and harvested. He loved to experiment in the kitchen with natural animal-free ingredients to produce interesting textures and flavours which made meal times a most enjoyable ocassion for the whole family. So potent were the aromas wafting far and wide from his kitchen that they attracted the attention of the sea monsters whose gigantic nostrils flared with excitement from above the murky waters in which they swam. Pixiekins had little time for recreational pastimes for he had many chores to carry out especially in supporting his parents. But in between his duties, he would retire to a small conservatory situated halfway up the stairs - not too far from his parents so that he could still keep one eye on them, but not too close so that he could relax. There he sat back in a comfortably padded armchair and read through the books which his parents had brought with them from their previous life in The Doldrums - a servile city within the Kingdom of Pixies - from which the family were forced to flee following their persecution many years earlier (see prequel below). He also had a range of books that he and his parents had found in the attic of the old house in which they now lived - fiction, mathematics, history, science, art, medicine, geography, astronomy etc. Pixiekins had a brain like a sponge absorbing all the information he could read. Occasionally, he would put his book down and stare out the window casting his eyes wide across the blackened ocean. Sometimes, he sensed a reassuring presence beyond the horizon as if someone or something was beckoning him. He looked back up the stairs and thought of his parents who were in the twilight of their years. He was still a young man. Who would keep him company when they were gone? He would be all alone and there was no possibility of returning to the Kingdom of Pixies where he would not be safe. Turning back to the window, a dim glint of green in the sea caught Pixiekins' attention. Was it the eye of a monster, he thought to himself? He reached into the draw of the cabinet next to his chair and pulled out a small dusty retractable brass telescope which he put to his eye. There drifting in the current of the sea close to the shoreline, he spied a green bottle. Grabbing a large tarnished brass key from the draw of the cabinet next to his chair, Pixiekins hurried down the stairs and out the front door. Many years previously when he was an infant, his parents had installed a fortified gate to prevent him from straying down the crumbly steps carved out of the side of the cliff. The steps which led to the beach were only used during low tide when the monsters were at a reasonably safe distance in the receded waters of the Sea of Doom. With the coast clear, his parents would gather up the nutritional beached seaweed which they made into soups and stews. Pixiekins placed the key in the gate and walked down the long flight of steps. Even from high up, he could clearly see the dim glint of the green bottle in the waters which had not fully waned. He was consumed with a compelling sense that he must not risk losing it. On reaching the beach below, Pixiekins was mindful of the monsters which lurked out of sight under the sea. He tentatively walked across the shingles, but stopped just shy of the shallow waters in which the bottle floated. Pixiekins had a deep rooted fear of water and could go no further. He extended his arm out as far as he could and plucked the bottle from the waters. He wiped it clean using his hankerchief. Although the bottle was semi-opaque from weathering, he could see inside a scroll with a wax seal. He also saw in the corner of his eye a long slithering limb emerge from the waters. Pixiekins dropped the bottle back in the water as the sticky wet limb clutched on to his arm. He managed to free himself before quickly retreating onto dry land from where he ran up the steps as fast as his legs would allow. In the relative safety of his home, he sat down in his chair halfway up the stairs. He thought about the bottle. He knew instinctively that the scroll inside was connected with the presence he sometimes felt when looking out the large conservatory window. He later retired to bed disheartened that the bottle will surely by now have been reclaimed by the tide and lost forever. That night, the mother of all storms descended upon the Sea of Doom. The waves crashed relentlessly against the side of the chalky cliffs and the sea swelled so high, that Pixiekins feared his house on top of the cliff would be washed away. He hid under his blanket and to the sound of the rain lashing against the windows, drifted off into a stupor and eventually fell fast asleep. The next morning, Pixiekins was awakened by an intensely bright light pouring in through the window. He had never bothered drawing the curtains, because the sky outside was permanently black even during the day when brooding dark clouds filled the sky from edge to edge. But today was different. He went to the window and was bedazzled by a great ball of light hanging over the horizon. From stories passed down to him by his parents when they lived in The Doldrums in the Kingdom of Pixies many years before, he knew that what he was looking at was the disk of the sun, but had never seen it with his own eyes as he was taken from The Doldrums at a very young age and had only ever known his life here by the Sea of Doom where the sun never shone until this day. With the veil of darkness lifted and the intense light pouring over everthing, he realised just how beautiful his surroundings were. The turbulant sea was now as flat as a sheet of glass which reflected a deep blue sky no longer eclipsed by a low-hanging ceiling of angry black clouds. Once shrouded in a drab murky mist, even the pebbles on the beach sprung to life as they popped out in a myriad of pastel colours soaked in sunlight. Very quickly, the emerging sun energised the dormant seeds of a once repressed landscape. The clifftops flourished as if drapped in a fresh carpet of lush green grass and meadow flowers. To his surprise, Pixiekins caught sight of the green bottle floating in the water close to the shoreline. In the clear weather conditions, he did not even need to use his vintage telescope. Without any hesitation, he ran out of the house and down the cliffside steps as quickly as he could. Fortunately, by the time he reached the bottom, the bottle had been left stranded on the beach following high tide. Having not had time to put his shoes on, Pixiekins walked gingerly along the pebbles which were already heating up in the morning sunlight. So beautiful was the day that he had lost his sense of fear of what lay beneath the water. As he reached down to pick up the bottle, a slithering limb shot out from below. Losing his balance on the stones, he fell backward, but the limb quickly wrapped its tail around his arm saving him from his fall. 'Get off me!' screamed Pixiekins who struggled to break free. The beast released its grip and Pixiekins fell to the ground. It then wrapped its tale once again around his arm and pulled him back up on to his feet before giving him a big friendly lick with his long tongue. The boy soon realised that the beast was friendly. 'I think you are a sea dragon by the looks of the smoke billowing from your nostrils' observed Pixiekins. The sea dragon turned about as if to leave. In a moment of unrestrained impulsiveness, Pixiekins jumped on to the back of the creature and held on to its whiskers as the creaure headed off to the far side of the Sea of Doom. Sometime later, there in the distance, he saw the coastline of a new land coming into focus. He was overwhelmed with a sense that he was going to a place where he should be. Indeed, he saw cliffs which were just like the ones back home. It was at this point, that he suddenly thought of his parents whom he had left behind. 'Wait!' shouted Pixiekins. 'We must go back.' But the sea dragon did not slow down and continued on its trajectory. 'What have I done?' said Pixiekins as the sea dragon exited the water on the far side of the ocean. Pixiekins let go of the creature's whiskers and slid off its watery spine. Looking around, it soon dawned on him that he was back where he started. There on the cliff top was his house. How could this be thought Pixiekins to himself when the sea dragon had travelled in a pefectly straight line. But what the boy did not realise was that the the Sea of Doom was enchanted and that no matter in which direction the creature swam, all routes would lead Pixiekins back to where he really wanted to be - home. Pixiekins sprinted accross the shingles and began the arduous ascent up the cliffside steps which lead to his house on top. He was desparate to see his parents again. As he climbed, he felt a familiar and reassuring presence following him. He turned and there was the sea dragon with a piece of seaweed caught on his neck fins and the elusive green bottle firmly clamped in its mouth. Instinctively eager to see his parents, Pixiekins continued his long climb up. A few minutes later, he glanced over his shoulder and noticed the creature looked somehow different - almost human like. Too exhausted to question and desperate to check on his parents, he resumed his ascent until reaching the top step where he turned one more time. Standing behind was no longer the sea dragon, but a young man modestly draped in a piece of seaweed and clutching a green bottle in his hands. 'It's you!' exclaimed Pixiekins in reference to the presence he would feel when looking out the conservatory window half way up the stairs. 'You found me'. The naked young man shook out the scroll from inside the bottle and handed it to Pixiekins who read out loud:
'And here I am!' exclaimed Eric in his own voice. 'But not without a challenge.' He went on to explain that, soon after setting sail, he and his boat were swallowed up by a violent whirlpool where he transformed into a sea dragon. Later, a great storm washed him up into the shallow waters of the far side of the Ocean of Doom. Although he began to regain his human thoughts, he could not escape the sea no matter how shallow. He was caught between two worlds - a monster on the outside, but human within. 'However, it was my need to see you which decided my fate' said the boy. 'I found the strength from within me to escape the waters which have been my prison for all these years and to follow you up the steps.' For Pixiekins, the questions surrounding the mysterious circumstances in which they had met mattered not for against all odds, they had found each other. 'Come with me' said Pixiekins who took Eric by the hand and led him up the garden path towards the house where his parents were waiting.
The Moral: Love finds a way
Beyond the impenetrable mountain range on the edge of the unchartered extremes of Pondilly, there was a realm known as The Doldrums where the only expression permanently etched on the faces of its wretched inhabitants was one of abject misery. So isolated was this place of unhappiness, that those who lived there had never laid eyes upon anyone beyond their fortified frontiers and therefore went about their business with not a second thought for their inherently depressed state of mind. The way they were in body and mind was normal and unquestionable to them. Until one day, there was born a child whose face was uniquely different amongst the people of The Doldrums. His name was Alfonso. Stoicism was normally engraved in the minds and imprinted on the faces of all newborns from the start of their lives. But not so with Alfonso and for reasons which will become apparent later in the story, his parents tried desperately to hide his differences, but friends and family leaked like a sieve and so news travelled fast and people would come for miles around to see him. The Doldruminians had no word in their vocabulary to describe his facial expression which particularly affected the shape of his mouth and so they applied a literal description which was- 'upturned'. Of course, what they were observing for the first time in their lives was what you and I would call a smile or a happy face. However, his smile was not his only unique feature. The tops of his ears were pointed and the lobes at the bottom were attached directly to the side of his head. Everyone else in The Doldrums had ears which were rounded at the top and big and flappy at the bottom. The townsfolk were fascinated by Alfonso's strange but pleasing appearance which they began to imitate. Before long, this new upturned expression caught on and spread like wildfire throughout the realm. Their smiles soon developed naturally into laughs which elevated the mood even higher. Again, the people of The Doldrums had no word for laughter which they instead described rather verbosely as a 'heightened belly convulsion via the mouth'. With all the smiling and laughing, a welcome side effect was that people began to speak more freely and feel better within themselves. They realised that their lives prior to Alfonso's arrival had been somewhat oppressive and that they had worrying questions about those who governed in secrecy behind the palace walls. News of this strange phenomenon sweeping through the land reached the royal family who ruled with an iron fist. They knew what was happening: the child known as Alfonso was a rare genetic throw-back to the pixie origins of the people of The Doldrums which was now a prision state serving those who ruled. So what had happened in the past? Thousands of years ago, the kingdom of pixies known as Pixiedom was embroiled in a bitter civil war as the ruling class embarked on a successful campaign to differentiate itself from those of low birth whom it enslaved into hard labour. Overtime, the slaves evolved into a subspecies which the ruling class disparagingly renamed the Doldruminians. In effect, this subservient class was depixiefied - stripped of their identity and operating in a near zombielike state to serve the needs of their betters by whom they were conquered. Eversince, the royal family has ruled from behind their palace walls immersed in the trappings of power and privilege. They were and remain the pinnacle of a social higherarchy with an obsession for purity. However, there was one exception - a secret army of middle class elites purposefully bred to blend in with the Doldruminians and deployed under Royal Protocol to search out all throw-backs for internment into the upper echelons who had been left infertile after thousands of years of inbreeding. Alfonso's parents were fully aware of the existence of the Royal Protocol for they were part of that undercover network of elites. They were duty bound to hand over their child whom they knew they would never see again. Unable to uphold their loyalty to the crown, Alfonso's parents hurriedly loaded their horse-drawn carriage with all their worldly possessions and, under the cover of darkness, they fled with their child far from the kingdom to the edge of the Sea of Doom where their ancestors once lived many centuries before. They followed a small overgrown pathway which led to a derelict house built discreetly on to the side of a cliff overlooking a bleak and blackened ocean. They knew no one would follow them to this bleak place, because of its close proximity to a sea which was infested with foul-smelling and flesh-eating demonic monsters. In spite of these ungodly creatures, it was here that his parents knew that at least they had a chance to raise and nurture their son whom they could never give up even though he was a pixie. So proud of their son, they even nicknamed him Pixiekins.
Note: I am still writing this story. Please check back another time.
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